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On the Light side with Humor

• As soon as you pass the last rest-stop for the next 90 miles, someone will need to stop.

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  At birthday parties, parents are usually early to drop off their kids, and late to pick them up.

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  The child you are currently dealing with is always treated more unfairly than his siblings.

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  The child you are currently dealing with is always required to do more work than his siblings.

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  You no longer have to lock up your favorite candy stash. Just put it on the stairs under the folded laundry and no one will touch it.

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  If a kid suddenly offers to do dishes or clean the house, it is either for money or credit for a school project.

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  I don't have to use a road map-- I can just use the veins on my legs.

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  If I had to choose one voice in the world to have instead of my own, it would be Daddy's.

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  Your teens get more enjoyment out of watching you cry at the sad parts of the video than they do in watching the video.

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  Hearing your three teens singing their way through the hymnbook "just for fun" is more gratifying than any CD you will ever buy.

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  "An object at rest tends to stay at rest" is a law written to describe the contents of your child's bedroom.

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  "An object in motion tends to stay in motion" is a law written by a parent with toddlers.

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  I've learned to quickly tell the difference between a good disposable diaper and a bad one.

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  If you say, "It looks like I'll get to bed early tonight," you won't.

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  A child's thank-you letter takes 25 times as long to formulate as a Christmas/birthday wish list.

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  There is no use crying over spilled baby cereal on a wicker chair.

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  The people that know best how you should be raising your kids are never free to baby-sit.

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  An Emmy is never more deserved than by a child just asked to clean her room.

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  Fridges were designed because children needed a cardboard box big enough to make a slide or playhouse.

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  Every parent possesses many valuable pieces of artwork that didn't cost them a thing.

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  Your child driving at 50 miles an hour is suddenly much faster than when you drive at 50 miles an hour.

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  When you help your children with their math homework, you suddenly realize how little you learned in math.

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  The bags under your eyes do not disappear until at least three years after the birth of your last child.

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  Mothers alone hold the secret recipe for refilling ice-cube trays.